Purpose for Living
The Why
“This has been some wild ride. I wish it would never end.” "I'm sorry, it has to end." "Why?" "Ok then a little more time, but don't waste it."
The Why seems so puzzling, so challenging, so difficult to comprehend. But isn’t that really the nature of Why? The Why, creates more questions than answers. Children love to ask why questions, such as why is the sky Blue? Why is the Ocean Green? Why this, and why that? It’s bedeviling. The How seems to be easy to understand, it’s simple. We didn’t die!
The Why presents the question of Purpose. I would like to believe that we strive against all the formidable obstacles, because of love, our faith, our families, our parents, our extended families and in some cases our siblings. Faith and family tend to stand out when it comes to the question of purpose. To be there for people who need you, to commit to being something for others, to help, to protect, to provide. All very virtuous. Then, there is a conundrum. Maybe as human beings, the more we cheat death, the more we become emboldened with immortality. Purpose could also be, to live forever. I want to state for the record that I am not an expert in Biology. With that said, basic biological is that we are all made up of cells, and the basic programing for a cell the desire to survive. These cells, which are the building of all living organisms, also want to reproduce. You make another you, and we get to live on, and on, so too your traits and characteristics. Basically, the Why or the Purpose, is we want to live forever. We want to exist, and continue to exist, and continue to exist. Reproduction often supersedes common sense; it, pardon the expression, trumps, dam near all reasoning. Think of Salmon. They live most of its life in a wonderful environment. Fresh water, food, other Salmon. Then one day, as if spurred by some unnatural force. They want out of this utopia, as if this life, this existence is too good. Too peaceful. Too placid. In unison they undertake a suicidal journey, that requires them to swim against the current. To swim upstream, where predators are waiting, lurking, just to spawn. Why? Because to cheat death, is too survive. I am intentionally avoiding using the word Sex because I am aware that cells can reproduce sexually and asexually. However, a significant portion of the Why or the Purpose is companionship. It’s too simple to call it sex. It’s deeper than that. Yes, reproduction, or sex drive is one hell of an inducer. But companionship is greater. The Why, because we don’t want to be alone.
Why did I put body through so much pain and agony? Why did I do so many stupid things when I was younger? Why did I put myself in the most conspiring of circumstances? Why couldn’t I just walk away? To explore this half of the Why is to delve deep, not just into attraction, but desire for companionship. We, us, have desires. Part of our basic programing is to seek out a companion. To have someone to love. Being with someone. I have read of Monks who take a vow of silence, or those of devout faith who take vows of chastity, or hermits who spend their entire life alone. The Why demands that we must find a companion. That relationship or the search for that relationship demands that we must survive in order to accomplish it.
At sixty years old, we are more likely than not, to have found that life partner. That person who we make ourselves vulnerable to. The How can visually illustrate the journey, and companionship allows us to have the confidence to expose our weaknesses. That isn’t just about crying, or showing our emotions, although it but it could be. More likely, there is this is that unnatural force that propels us to find a Purpose. A Purpose doesn’t always have to be about finding another person either. It can be circling the equator alone in an airplane or surviving a desert or ocean crossing alone. However, once these events are accomplished people are often left to seek out another purpose. We must move on to something else. Unlike this search for something new to accomplish, companionship secures Purpose. The Why is now justified. I have found what I have been searching for, all my life. The pursuit of a companion, and finding one, is like finding that missing piece of the puzzle. It is an not absolute scientific fact, but statically, couples on average, outlive their single counterparts. It’s also worth mentioning divorce amongst couples in their sixties is one of the lowest divorce rates. Furthermore, crossing a line together as a couple, all but ensures solidarity. I am of the conclusion that a significant aspect of living this long seems to suggest that succeeding and finding companionship is a motivation for The Purpose for living. Sex is important, but it's second, when compared to finding companionship. The touch, the sound, and the smell of someone you love, is an intoxicant for survival, for wanting to be alive. Yes, there is no debating that family, and faith can be instrumental in the Why, but interpersonal experiences cannot be rivaled, not even by AI.
My parents have been married longer, than some countries have existed. Their marriage has survived the terms of 14 sitting presidents; Jim Crow, the fall of Communism, The Bay of Pigs, I have a Dream, the birth of Rock-n-Roll and Soul Music, the invention of the LP, 8 Track Tapes, Cassette Tapes, CD’s, Color TV’s, Microwave Ovens, Cordless Telephones, Cell Phones, The Birth of an Apple, the death of the Univac, a Man on the Moon, American Bandstand, The Soul Train, The first inter-racial kiss of a couple in a Movie, the First Black President, LGBTQ, countless viruses, the destruction of the World Trade Center, and fully electric cars. That is a mouthful. That is 68 years of history together. I personally know more couples that are together at or over sixty years of age, than I know couples under 60 years of age. Furthermore, the cumulative combined time that they have spent together exceeds the combined total of 50% of couples under 40 years of age in America. We have figured it out, The Why. The Purpose. It's sim[le, The Life Clock gets extended when you find your purpose. Living longer is like a math equation, with two you can multiply time evenly.
But there is more to The Why. Tempting faith, some call it dancing with the Devil. I must admit, from personal experience, he is one hell of a Dancer. So, light on his or her feet that you hardly ever notice that your body has left the ground; until you land. Overcoming that which seems incomprehensible is a terrible inducer of Purpose. Why do we love danger? Why did I love doing dangerous things? Playing with matches, making my own fireworks, diving insanely reckless, chasing that which should not have been chased, drugs use, copious amounts of alcohol, any challenge to my ego, and finally, Disco Music… Why do we seek to challenge death? Why do we actively search for it; it drives curiosity. It fuels, perversely, the Purpose; to subconsciously conquer death. It forces us to peer into doors that weren’t cracked, much less open. This maniacal pursuit for the next rush is too, at the heart of The Why. “Danger, Will Robinson, Danger…!” Where is Robot, when you need him?
As we got older, we realized we didn’t need one. Because we as always had one, our Faith. The Why is something so powerful that it can’t be explained. It doesn’t allow for explanation, it however, does allow us to keep living, and the more time we spend on living, the more time we accept and stop questioning The Why? At sixty years old most of us have all but stopped questioning Why. We have stop testing fate, we stop using danger and dangerous situations as accomplishments. This is not to suggest that making it to, and passing sixty the proof that we have won? No. It’s more likely proof that we have settled. Yes, we have settled. Which is not to be confused with taking on less challenges, but now we are more accepting of what we have been living for. We accept a Purpose, for life. Companionship. Survival. We have passed the test and the Life Clock is now working with us, not against us. Again, this is not to suggest that we don’t, sometimes drive fast, or have one martini too many, or have the occasional flight of fancy when we take larger bites off a little more than we can chew. However, we better understand moderation. A little at a time can be just as enjoyable as one big bite.
We now know the importance of having someone in our lives that we trust, to occasionally guide us. We find some peace in this existence. If this sounds a little utopian, then maybe it is. Because for sixty years (Life Clock 1,974,067,200) we have traveled down a road; a road that fully explains the How but only starts to reveal the Why as we get older. Plus, we the survivors, the lovers, the faithful appreciate the gift of more time, and we know what to do with it; who to share it with; what to spend it on; and what not to waste it on. Because of this understanding, other people begin to recognize the value of our time too. Our time becomes so valuable that we can charge for it, if we choose. How many of us have had someone flat out say, "let me pay you for your time?". Yes, there are a few people who will misappropriate our time, thankfully, with time we can overcome the damage. Vexations to the spirit is what I call anyone who selfishly manipulate my time. The Why can be found also in the eyes of the people that love us; the people that care about us; the people we care about. This is a gift from a power so magnificent, it forces us to stop questioning, Why.
Why are we here, when so many aren’t? Because we have found our Purpose.
